HLC Life Coaching Blog

July 6, 2012

Recovery/12 Step Series – Step 7

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 20

How I Created PermanentBehavioral Change

By Being a Witness/Observer To My Thoughts

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings
Namasté soul friends,
I realized that starting in Step 6 when I became “entirely ready” I was opening myself up for creating the permanent behavioral change that I wanted in order to recover from the effects of a disease called alcoholism.  Step 7 is truly a transformation step.
The Human School has a beautiful system of balance
Created between the mind and the heart.
Your intellectual mind is the instrument of your separation.
Your heart is the vehicle of unity.
This transformational process creates a very
Profound polarity or struggle.
What we end up with is a creative tension, where our
Egos are trying to preserve our separateness,
And our Spirit is trying to merge into the unity
Of all things where we are all ONE.
Excerpt taken from The HuMan Handbook
In preparing for Step 7, I had practiced the Spiritual Distinction Meditation so much that I had finally learned how to feel the difference between when my ego mind (the crazy committee in my head) was chattering vs. the loving, gentle energy of my Higher Power.  I’d been taught that by learning meditative exercises, such as the Spiritual Distinction Meditation, I would see how to be a “witness-observer” of my dharma and karma.  I have learned how to watch my dharma and karma unfold from a state of detachment, wondering “How will my incarnate fair with this HuMan dilemma?”
I always look at the words of the steps and try to understand their meaning and how it pertains to my life. When I think of the words “Humbly ask” and what it means I’ve discovered that when I humbly ask I’m open and willing to receive whatever my Higher Power has to show me. Remove and Shortcomings are two words that always tripped me up. I thought when something was removed it was taken away. I’ve since learned that “to remove” means to “put at a distance”.   Shortcomings is another way of saying “I came up short”, I didn’t quite make the mark. So when I’m asking to have my shortcomings removed, I’m asking that what no longer serves me be put at a distance so that I can connect with my Higher Power and observe what is happening which allows me to respond instead of react.
Well this month I’ve been ‘humbly asking’ and guess what happened? I got shown. And some of the things I was shown were not very pretty. I saw where my ego still puts thoughts of judgment and other mis-truths about people into my mind, and then builds a whole storyline around those mis-truths, and tries to get me to look at situations through eyes with these distorted perceptions. This type of ‘thinking’ no longer serves me. In order to permanently change my behavior, it was important for me to be able to stand as a witness/observer so that I can see the truth and feel where my ego is trying to get me to play God by having unrealistic expectations, judging, controlling or acting out any other behavior that is not love.
In the witness/observer position, the veils are lifted and I am starting to see the Truth of what is “as is” which means that I can then dis-create what no longer serves me. Observing my ego thoughts, from a witness perspective, withdraws power from them.
I know today that as long as I stay in my ego-mind buying into the ego’s way of judging everything as right, wrong, good or bad, I am living in fear and not love. I am no longer in harmony with the God of my understanding. In order for me to start consciously creating what I want, I ‘humbly ask’ to be able to see and accept the truth of what is “as is”. As a witness/observer I stand in this truth with my Higher Power. I get a different perspective. What freedom I’ve gotten by learning this HuMethod™ exercise. This exercise has given me the ability to BE with people, comfortable in my own skin and feeling safe enough to venture out into the world as an Adult of God who is thriving (living life with purpose and passion) vs. surviving (struggle and fear).
Keep coming – it works if you work it!
Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer
If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in any 12-step recovery program and you want to mastermind with Deborah, you can contact Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@gmail.com.  Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.

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