How To Walk the 12 Steps with The HuMethod™ Article 3
Clean the slate of your mind and be restored to sanity by learning…
Why Affirmations Alone Don’t Work
By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings
Namasté soul friends,
Welcome to the next blog in the series “How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™. Remember, these HuMethod™ exercises don’t replace the proven 12 Steps. They are a bridge that you can take that will introduce you to advanced tools to enhance and accelerate your recovery journey.
Step 2 – “Came to believe that a power greater than me could restore me to sanity.” When I look at this step I ask myself a few
questions…. “What do I believe?” “Can I really be restored to sanity?” The question of whether or not there is a power greater than me was never the issue. My beliefs around this power definitely needed to be surfaced and healed, and my beliefs about whether I was worth being restored to sanity needed to be surfaced and healed, but I never dis-believed that there was a power greater than me that could do this. In fact, it was this knowing that gave me hope and kept me moving towards my Self.
I used to believe that if I thought it long enough, or held it in my mind long enough, it would materialize. When I was
living with active alcoholism I thought that if I visualized a happy life I would have one (delusion). Or if I ignored everything happening around me and only thought positively it will go away on its own (denial). Or if I could only try and see the good in
everyone and everything I could make them happy and I would be happy (enabling). As long as I deluded, denied and enabled I
couldn’t change anything. I was living in the disease.
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When I first did the HuMethod™ exercise of “Why Affirmations Alone Don’t Work” I learned a few facts: 1) Most of my core beliefs were formed when I was a child based on what I experienced, and 90% of these beliefs are unconscious, and 2) I create my reality based on my beliefs, whether my beliefs are true, false, or not relevant to whom I am today. This helped me understand why everything I was trying wasn’t working. I know today that my unconscious beliefs hold the answers I seek so as I take my Journey Home to my Self, I need to fully explore and experience all of my unconscious beliefs.
There are four key concepts in this exercise, and in the hope that you will be inspired to take a deeper look, I will share with you how emotionalizing each of these helped me deepen my recovery as I continue to take my Journey Home to my Self.
The key HuMethod™ concepts that I learned in this exercise were:
- Piling it on – I don’t know about you, but the disease of alcoholism came to me with all kinds of dysfunctional experiences, pain and loss, in every possible way. I had been ‘piling it on’ since birth and so by the time I hit my bottom I was so far into a hole that I truly didn’t know how to begin to climb out.
- Tabula rasa – Tabula Rasa translates from the Greek and means “clean slate”. My mind was layered with so much
contradictory programming (negative and positive) that it triggered the Law of Physics that states “No two things can occupy the same space at the same time.” This meant that my contradictory thoughts nullified the positive thoughts that I was affirming while I was attempting to create loving relationships. How can I even begin to combat the mind disease part of alcoholism when this is occurring? I used to whip myself into a frenzy because my mind told me that I didn’t believe hard enough or I that was good enough. It continually told me that I wasn’t enough. How was I ever going to be restored to sanity? By practicing and emotionalizing this exercise, I learned that I could clean the slate of my mind. Hope was at hand. - Pre-mature positive thinking – What I experienced in my childhood and early adult years was so traumatic that in
order for me to survive, my mind tried all kinds of tricks, and this one was the most harmful. I used to think ‘innocence is bliss’ but I learned that innocence almost killed me. Denial is a killer. Knowledge and empowerment are what saved me.The disease didn’t go away just because I wanted it to. Saying things like “they did the best they could” or “they too have a disease” or “it’s okay” didn’t help me to become conscious. I know today they did thebest they could, but it wasn’t enough, and now it was up to me to learn how to nourish and nurture myself so I could feel safe, sane and secure in the world. - Nothing changes until it becomes what it is – By doing the HuMethod™ exercises, along with coaching, I was finally able to remember the lesson but forget the experience. I never thought that I would be able to have a memory of my childhood without going back and reliving the painful experience. I know today that I have a story but I’m not that story anymore. I cannot begin to tell you the freedom that has come from this.
Join me next time as I share how I really learned to ‘turn my will and my life over’ by becoming non-resistant. Don’t forget … Keep coming – it works if you work it!
Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer
If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in Al-Anon, AA, OA, GA, NA, SLAA and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@yahoo.com. Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.