Recovery/12 Steps Series – Step 5

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 6

Admitted to God, to myself and to another Human Being …

Creating a Covenant Based on Truth and Integrity

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings

Namasté soul friends,

I’ve been pondering what my relationships are like for me now that I’m practicing living the truths that I’ve learned as part of my own Journey home to my Self.  Don’t get me wrong.  I still get triggered by my ego-mind and need to re-ground myself back into my Spirit. But the duration/intensity and frequency of these triggers is getting to be less and less – Thank You God!

I realized that, after learning what a true spiritual relationship is, it’s no wonder my relationships were never fulfilling.
I never related to anyone with any truth or integrity because I didn’t trust anyone, and as a child I was taught to lie.  I wasn’t on equal footing with anyone in my life – I was either greater than or less than, depending on what was triggering my ego-mind history (or in this case ‘her-story’).    Today, my spiritual relationships are the closest thing to heaven that I can experience on earth.  Let me explain.

A spiritual relationship is formed when two (or more) people come together, as equals, for the purpose of spiritual growth. One of the best ways to support spiritual growth is to be in a relationship with someone who wants to create a ‘partnership’ that is
emotionally intimate and spiritually conscious. Relationship Mastery means to reach beyond your F.E.A.R. identities, with a committed spiritual partner, to create an environment rich in love, honesty, and trust.  This spiritually rich environment creates emotional intimacy, which makes life feel more like you are in heaven, rather than on earth.

Step 5 helped me clear away a lot of the debris of the past but it wouldn’t work for me until I turned my will and my life over to the God of my understanding (Step 3) so I could take a good look at what was working in my life and what no longer served me (Step 4).  By emotionalizing both of these previous steps, I was ready to take Step 5 by creating a covenant with someone based on the highest degree of truth and integrity.  When I did this, I was able to see past any negative human identities (roles) that would have stopped me in the past.  Instead, I focused on the Spirit within me.  (I dropped that 18” from my head into my heart.)  I bonded with the understanding that I am with someone else because it is appropriate for our souls to grow together.  I consciously recognize that we are both in the process of spiritual growth, and that a commitment to being emotionally honest is essential.  H.O.W. it works is Honesty, Openness, and Willingness.  Without this, I am alone in the drama of my ego-mind.

I know today that the more I invest in developing loving, consciously awakened, soft, caring, open relationships, the more I’ll relax about my life because I am in my heart center and co-creating with GOD (Good Orderly Direction).  Spiritual relationships create intimacy, which in turn provides a safe space where I can willingly surrender my ego defenses.  As I master the Language of Feelings, I’ll know why I am feeling the way I am feeling, which will make being in a spiritual relationship a pleasure.  I’ll learn how to use my intuitive heart to communicate to my spiritual partner how I feel. If I try to use my mind to ‘think’ about what I am ‘feeling’, I’ll be communicating from my defensive ego-mind, using child-like ego defenses, rather than from my heart.  I know today that in order to develop a spiritual relationship, it is essential to master the Language of Feelings.

Learning how to communicate responsibly, so I could maturely communicate how I feel, helped me find the source of my pain so I could heal it. This made me understand that the source of my pain was being stimulated in the present but it was a manifestation of something from the past.  I know today that when I am being triggered in the present, I am triggering old emotional wounds from my past that were never healed.

Relationship building is an ongoing action lesson of life and every element of it will synergistically support all of your other spiritual disciplinas. There is so much more to discuss about the dynamics of Relationship mastery and if you want to learn more you can always enroll in HLC’s Relationship Mastery Course with personalized Life Coaching tele-classes, because it will supply you with the spiritual, emotional, and loving support that makes achieving Relationship Mastery a repeatable process..

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Join me next time as I share how I learned to validate my feelings applying the HuMethod™ exercises along with Step 6.    Keep coming – it works if you work it!

Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in Al-Anon, AA, OA, GA, NA, SLAA and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact
Deborah directly via her email Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.