Do You Have a Spiritual Relationship
with Your Children?
-by Certified Life Coach Hu Dalconzo, Copyright © 2002
A spiritual parenting model is much freer than the “old world” model. It requires emotional courage, because you must leave behind the stereotypical parental roles that existed merely for protection and survival. This spiritual “new world” model creates a safe space where you and your child can be emotionally honest. This emotional honesty allows your children to communicate freely with you because they feel safe and secure with you.
The spiritual parenting model creates emotional intimacy, which in turn provides a safe space where your children can willingly surrender their ego defenses. In this sacred space your children will feel safe enough to be emotionally vulnerable with you, so they will share with you their innermost thoughts and feelings.
A spiritually awakened parent knows that their children have come through them, but that they did not incarnate for them. In the eyes of God your children are your spiritual equals who incarnated to burn karma and fulfill their dharma just like you did. Your children are here to teach you as much as you need to teach them.
Parents who have spiritual relationships with their children are conscious to the fact that their children “live in the world, but they are not of the world.” This is why forming a spiritual relationship with your children is paramount for all holistic parents. The more time that you invest in developing a loving, consciously awakened, spiritual relationship with your child, the better prepared your child will be to fulfill his/her spiritual purpose for living.
A spiritual relationship is formed when two or more people come together, as equals, for the purpose of spiritual growth. Parent/child spiritual relationships create a holistic environment, which will help your children grow faster than they could on their own. Many parents fear forming a spiritual relationship with their children because unconsciously they know it will bring to view exactly what they need to see, feel and heal about their less than perfect parental behavior that their children are modeling.
A spiritual, relationship with your child acknowledges that both of you are unique manifestations of the same Spirit. “Spirit First” family relationships need to be based on the highest degree of truth and integrity so that your children will feel safe enough to be emotionally honest with you and their siblings. Emotional honesty bonds the family while also creating a strong sense of trust, which fosters the development of emotional intimacy…a vital ingredient of Self-parenting.
For better or worse, your children are mirrors. Your children reflect back to you your positive and negative behaviors because children learn what they live.
As a parent you are constantly being tested to see whether you will choose “mind” or “mastery.” Tolle taught me that the “mind-identified state” is severely dysfunctional. Everyone is suffering from “ego mind identification illness” in varying degrees. The moment you realize this there can be no resentment or guilt because how can you resent someone’s illness or your own?
You need to drum up the emotional courage to use your child’s less than perfect behavior as a way of viewing your own unconscious negative beliefs. The term ‘mirroring’ means to see the external world as a mirror that reflects back to you the aspects of yourself that are emotionally difficult for you to see directly.
When you use your children as mirrors they will give you an instant, ongoing reflection of your own inner Self. As you develop a consciously awakened, spiritual relationship with your children by using your Self-parenting skills, mirroring will become an empowering tool that will support your family’s spiritual evolution.
As a holistic parent it is your job to educate yourself on the ways in which your children were emotionally wounded. Fortified with this knowledge, you can help them heal by avoiding words or deeds that unconsciously trigger feelings that are still very tender. The good news is that when you use parental mastery skills your children will realize that you are a safe space so they will communicate with you freely and take comfort in your emotional counsel.
Namaste’, my soul friends