Part 3- How to Validate Your Feelings & Experiences

Giving value to your client's feelings with the Self-parenting validation Life Coaching exercises is where the rubber of life meets the road as a certified Spiritual Life Coach. This article discusses HLC's Validation Exercises which are the most important action step of teaching a client Self-parenting.

Do I Need to Heal My Childhood Wounds to be Truly Happy?

A Hu Note: Giving value to your feelings with the Self-Parenting Life Coaching exercises, specifically HLC's Validation Process, is where the rubber of life meets the road of Self-parenting. The Validation Process is the most important action step of Self-parenting. A Self-mastered person is authentic about their healing feelings. They are able to process what their intuitive messages mean, and they take action to validate what they are feeling until they feel better.

Validation means to give value to your feelings with well-grounded evidence why your feelings aren’t right, wrong, good or bad; they are just what you are feeling.

The Coaching Lesson, Validation

Learn Self-Parenting Life Coaching Exercises to use with clients

By learning how to validate your feelings, you are accepting that your feelings are a normal, natural and necessary way to function as a mature Self-parented adult. When you validate your healing feelings, it proves that you understand that whatever you are feeling is simply an intuitive message from your heart (spirit). You are granting your Self the “benefit of the doubt” as if you were your own best friend… “Anyone would have felt that way under those circumstances.”  Self-parenting helps you to feel safe, sane and secure; feeling safe will help you to own your uncomfortable feelings so that you can experience them and release them. When you truly understand that all of your “healing feelings” are completely valid, you won’t block them, which will make you feel loved and nurtured.

Self-Parenting Life Coaching Exercise- The Validation Process

  1. Stop, focus, and allow yourself to feel your healing feelings because feelings aren’t right, wrong, good or bad; they just are what you are feeling. Your ego will try to fool you into thinking that you are feeling when you are only thinking about what you are feeling. You will need to meet your ego’s resistance with a greater amount of life force energy made up of love, faith and Self-determination.
  2. Ask yourself… “Am I in the proper environment to process what I am feeling?” If not, then as soon as you can get to a private place, use this validation exercise to feel your healing feelings.
  3. Take out the Feelings Chart and the Healing Feelings Affirmations. They will help you to identify the healing feelings (usually three) that you are experiencing, along with their holistic function, general feeling and emotional block.
  4. Surface 6-8 answers to the following sentence completions plugging in all the healing feelings that you are now feeling… “I give my Self permission to feel (frustrated) because…”
  5. Validate the reasons why it is normal, natural and necessary for you to feel what you are now feeling by using any anchoring emotions, incidents and emotional age that surfaces.
    • Normal means that the feelings that you are feeling are the same feelings that anyone else would feel if they had gone through the same life experiences.
    • Natural means that the physical body sensations that you are experiencing (heavy heart, headache, backache, neck tension queasy stomach, etc.) are messages being sent from your Spirit that you are out of harmony with your Self.
    • Necessary means that, although the discomfort that you are feeling is not pleasurable, it is a necessary part of the healing process. Without the discomfort you would not realize that there is a lesson to learn. The discomfort is the actual proof that you are indeed expanding as a soul.
  6. You need to be on guard because your mind will use its favorite “ego traps” in an attempt to have you think that you are feeling your healing feelings when you are just thinking about I’ve listed four general ego traps, but you’ll need to write your own “scouting report” of your mind’s favorite “ego traps” that it uses to make you go unconscious to your healing feelings.
    • Your Ego Mind's Game is Confusion, so it will make you feel as if you don’t understand. In actuality you are a child of God who has Godlike powers and therefore at some level you do understand what you need to feel and why you need to feel your healing feelings.
    • Your Ego Mind will try to make the unimportant, important and the important, unimportant, which will keep you stuck in the dramas and story lines of your life.
    • Your Ego Mind will try to make you believe that “I already know that…” when you might know as much as 90% of your true feelings, but still be deluding and surpassing the rest.
    • Your Ego Mind will try to make you “think” that you have made your healing feelings part of your “consciousness,” when in actuality you only know the truth, believe in the truth and understand what truth is vs. “living and feeling” your truth!
  7. Identify the message that your Spirit is sending you with these two sentence completions: “What I just learned about myself is…” and “What I just learned by validating my feelings is…”
  8. Lastly, recognize, commend and reward yourself for demonstrating highly functional Self-parenting behavior by using the Validation Pro

A very effective tool HLC Coaches use to teach Self-Parenting Life Coaching exercises is the Coaching textbook, Self-Mastery, a Journey Home to Your Inner Self. Lessons 3 and 5 contain the Healing Feeling Affirmations and the Feeling Chart. These charts with their holistic functions, general feelings and emotional blocks, will help you to validate why it is normal and necessary for you to see, feel and exhale what you are currently feeling and the negative consequences you will experience if you block what you need to feel. You can see how this is an especially important lesson to teach clients in order for them to manifest permanent behavioral change.


If you resonate with this information, HLC created a FREE Transformational audio course titled, 6 Lessons EVERY Coach Must Know. In it, you will experience some of HLC's clinically proven psycho-spiritual Coaching exercises that have helped clients achieve permanent, lasting change since 1993 in our Spiritual Coach Certification Course.

HLC has made it possible for almost everyone to afford a Coaching education because HLC approves 98% of our student financing applications for our Spiritual Life Coaching Certification course. Achieve your Spiritual purpose for living, become a Certified Spiritual Life Coach. Call 1-888-452-0878 9-5, M-F, EST and speak with an experienced Service Ed coach today. Or submit your questions here and expect an answer within 24-48 hours M-F.