How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 11
Continued to take personal inventory
And when we were wrong, promptly admitted it…
By Observing and Correcting my Behavior
By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings
Namasté soul friends,
I had the pleasure of going through the Observe & Correct process with someone recently and I just love how the Universe continues to support me in my recovery journey. I’m not sure if I shared this already, but one of the best things I ever learned in my 12-step program was that I live in a friendly Universe, and that everything that happened was being done for me
and not to me. Once I finally grok’d this, I knew that the God of my understanding had my back and I started to feel safer in
It took me some time to get in touch with my Self enough to know when my behavior was “less than perfect”. I spent the majority of my life unconscious, all the while going at a speed of 80,000,000 rpm. As long as I had my lists, and life didn’t take one wrong turn, my ego mind told me all was well. Can you guess how many times a day life does what life does? As you can imagine, I was being pulled off the ceiling regularly. My unconscious beliefs had me dis-place my anger on anyone or anything that was in my path. I’ve heard in the rooms that “hurt people, hurt people” and as I started the walk by completing Steps 4-9, I started to become conscious and realized my actions did have an effect on other people. I wasn’t as invisible as I had wanted
In order to feel safe, accepted and loved, my ego had me focusing outside of my Self trying to meet other’s needs. Using my great ‘thinking mind’ my ego told me what everyone else’s needs were, a lot of times before they even knew they had a need.
All I succeeded in doing was building a lot of resentments and completely and totally losing my own identity. I know today that anything I process through my ‘thinking’ mind is being processed through the disease of alcoholism because my ego-mind has been affected by this disease.
Bridging the HuMethod™ exercise of Observe & Correct with my 10th Step, I am learning to get out of my alcoholic “thinking”
disease and become a witness/observer to my behavior. This allows me to be more aware of when my behavior is ‘less than perfect’ so, along with the God of my understanding, I can change course and become a conscious director in my life, not just an actor. Just like Step 10, using the Observe & Correct process requires me to integrate all that I’ve been learning and practicing up to this point.
I practiced the Spiritual Distinction Meditation two-three times a day for over a year. This helped me to get into my body so that I could stay in touch with what my body (Spirit) was telling me. This form of self-parenting allowed me to ‘feel my healing feelings’ so I could observe what was happening before my ego-mind could distract me and then correct my actions so I esponded instead of reacted. As I continued to tune in to my feelings to discover what my Spirit was saying, my Relationships started to change. My focus was no longer 100% projecting what I reaction I had to take to offset what someone else was doing. I was able to turn inward to the God of my understanding and communicate with people where they are, not where I am or where I’d like them to be.
The Seven Spiritual Truths keep me on course when my ego-mind tries to distract me. I know today that “Nothing changes until it becomes what it is – love” and so it is important for me to stay conscious so I can accept “what is” as is and dis-create
(stop creating) what no longer serves me.
Forgiveness is key to this entire process because as long as I’m enmeshed with someone, I continue to take poison while waiting for the other person to die. When I use this self-protection mechanism, I detach from the pain while getting the gift of being able to remember the lesson. This helps me to keep from repeating the same behavior over and over again, and expecting a different result.
Practicing how to communicate responsibly has freed me up to Be-Here-Now, in communication with my Spirit so I can communicate with someone else’s Spirit in the present, not the past or future. My ego has lost its job of keeping tabs and score to make sure that it can protect its boundaries. Keeping tabs and score on what everyone else did only distracted me from my true purpose – to meet my own emotional dependency needs that weren’t met when I was a child, so that I can feel safe, sane and secure in the world. Today I accept my Self and my ‘less than perfect behavior’ and take responsibility (respond-with-ability) for my actions. Thank You God for my program and for the HuMethod™ tools and exercises.
If you would like to get a free hand-out on how to use the Observe & Correct process, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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The HuMethod’s™ college level training systems and self-help exercises have been proven to work on thousands of people and when professionally implemented consistently create the permanent behavioral changes that our students and clients desire.
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Join me next time as I share how prayer and meditation continued to bring me closer to the truth when use the HuMethod™ Surrender action plan. Keep coming – it works if you work it!
Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer
If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in any 12-step recovery program and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact
Deborah directly via her email email@example.com. Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.