As a Spiritual Coach I teach my Transformational Life Coaching clients that one of the most important elements of Boundary Mastery is to learn how to constructively use their YANG ENERGY of anger for boundary protection. This is a major cornerstone of Spiritual Coaching mastery requires you to learn how to maturely protect your boundaries.
The Spiritual Coach and Boundary Protection
“Anyone can have an adult temper tantrum…that’s easy!
But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, for the right purpose,
in the right way so that you can maturely protect your boundaries…that’s not easy!”
-Aristotle
What Are Healthy Boundaries?
A cornerstone of Spiritual Counseling mastery requires that you learn how to Maturely Protect Your Boundaries. Mature boundaries are an important ingredient of mature personal and business relationships because a boundary is a limit that promotes integrity.
Healthy boundaries are derived from your conscious awareness of the distinction between you and the people with whom you share your life, as opposed to being emotionally enmeshed [over connected] with your loved ones.
As a professional Spirit Life Coach, I check to make sure that my Transformational Coaching Clients understand that their Emotional Boundaries separate them from others emotionally and psychologically. This is an important tip because your ego-mind creates a sense of separation from others in order to help you feel physically safe and to prevent emotional enmeshment [over-connection] with others.
While facilitating Spiritual Counseling psycho-spiritual exercises I want to make sure that my clients know that when someone violates their physical or emotional boundaries it is normal for them to feel uncomfortable—perhaps even threatened.
That is why I tell my Transformational Coaching clients over and over again that an emotionally mature adult is one who honors the need for physical and emotional boundaries in others and themselves.
FREE COACHING COURSE
If you resonate with this information, HLC created a FREE Transformational audio course titled, 6 Lessons EVERY Coach Must Know. In it, you will experience some of HLC's clinically proven psycho-spiritual Coaching exercises that have helped clients achieve permanent, lasting change since 1993 in our Spiritual Coach Certification Course.
How to Help The Client Separate Then From Now
When you were a child, you did not have the power or wisdom to stop others from transgressing your boundaries. Adults could do as they wished with you because you were powerless to stop them. But now that you are an adult, you are able to use your adult powers to set mature, functional boundaries so that you can feel safe, sane, and secure in the world.
As a Spiritual Life Coach I want my clients to own that all too often their childhood boundaries were violated, and it was allowed to continue because as a child they weren’t taught that they had the right to say “no” when their boundaries were breached. Therefore, if you were not given permission as a child to say “no” to protect your boundaries then you’ll need to practice spiritual counseling corrective self-parenting boundary protection exercises.
Emotional boundaries help you to stay safe by stopping you from becoming enmeshed in the fear-based ideas and behaviors of your caretakers. Emotional boundaries are anchored directly to your belief systems. That is why it is important that you discern what beliefs belong to you from those that originate from your childhood adult caretakers.
An emotionally mature adult recognizes the importance of not imposing their beliefs upon others because they realize that it is an Emotional Boundary Violation. This does not mean that you cannot express your beliefs; it just means that you should not overly insist, impose, or try to manipulate another into accepting your point of view and belief systems.
Types of Boundary Violations
- Things that harm emotional boundaries are: Ridicule, contempt, sarcasm, belittling feelings, stifling communications, insistence on conformity, being controlling, overpowering, heavy judgments, abuse of any kind, threatening physical or emotional abandonment and threats of physical violence and so on.
- Subtle ways to obliterate your own emotional boundaries and bypass your boundary protecton: Pretending to be someone you are not; not sharing how you honestly feel; afraid to be who you really are; afraid to show your uniqueness to the world; pretending to agree when you disagree; concealing your true feelings; doing things you don’t want to do; pushing yourself beyond your limits; working too hard; doing too much for others; not resting when tired; ignoring your own emotional, physical, and psychological needs. Boundary Violations
- When you subtly obliterate your emotional boundaries: You lose your sense of who you are; you deny your spiritual self; you weaken your ability to express how you feel; you actually obscure your own boundaries to such a degree that people are inclined to violate you without even knowing that they are doing it.
- Things that strengthen emotional boundaries: Feeling that you have the right to say no; the freedom to say yes; mutual respect for your own and other feelings; accepting of people’s differences (uniqueness); enhancement of your own unique identities; giving yourself permission to express how you feel; giving others permission to express how they feel and so on.
The Most Difficult Boundary Violation
Violations of Emotional Distance are the most difficult boundary violation for my Transformational Life Coaching clients to validate because these wounds were caused by “what wasn’t done to them,” which is why in PART THREE of this article l will focus totally on why your Spiritual Coaching Clients find it difficult to validate their VIOLATIONS of EMOTIONAL DISTANCE.
FREE COACHING COURSE
If you resonate with this information, HLC created a FREE Transformational audio course titled, 6 Lessons EVERY Coach Must Know. In it, you will experience some of HLC's clinically proven psycho-spiritual Coaching exercises that have helped clients achieve permanent, lasting change since 1993 in our Spiritual Coach Certification Course.