4 of 6- IMPERATIVE Coaching Lesson We MUST Teach

Master Coach Hu lays the groundwork for the second foundational lesson he uses with Coaching clients, "It's imperative as Coaches that we teach this! Life for your client will be or continue to be infinitely harder without it.". For you or your client, this skill develops an empowered life, teaches how to communicate your feelings in an emotionally mature way and promotes integrity.

Master Coach Hu's Training Series 1, #4 of 6

Boundary Mastery Basics… in a Nutshell

NAMASTÈ… my name is Master Coach Hu, and my Spiritual Journey of Awakening began in 1977 when I was 25-years old. That was when I began “deep diving” into my wounded Inner child’s incarnational curriculum.

During these four decades I was “Giving Away What I Most Needed To Learn and Heal.”! And that is why my hope is that you will Emotionalize these professional Spiritual Life Coaching Lessons, so you can help your clients create the Self-mastery life skills needed to FEEL Safe, Sane, and Secure in the world.

Again, the Title of this Video is… Boundary Mastery Basics… in a Nutshell

BOUNDARY MASTERY is one of the most important skills needed to live a Self-empowered life because if you never learned how to maturely protect your BOUNDARIES, you'll need to use childlike ego defenses. And immature ego defenses will challenge even the most committed relationships. The fastest way to develop HEALTHY BOUNDARIES is to learn how to communicate your feelings in an emotionally mature way.

Healthy Boundaries Are Limits That Promote Integrity. Healthy boundaries require a conscious awareness of the distinction between you, and the people whom you share your life, as opposed to being enmeshed with them.

There are two types of boundaries: Physical Boundaries such as your skin and the invisible three-foot comfort zone that surrounds your body, and emotional, psycho-spiritual Boundaries.

BOUNDARIES PROTECT YOU AND MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE. Metaphorically speaking, when you get a scratch, it breaches the barrier of your skin, so you become vulnerable to infection. And when your emotional boundaries are breached you also become vulnerable to harm.

When someone trespasses your boundaries by thoughtless or intrusive actions these actions are called BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS. There Are Two Types of Boundary Violations: Violations of Intrusion and Violations of Emotional Distance.

VIOLATIONS OF INTRUSION happen when a person is verbally, sexually, or physically abused. A good example of a verbal violation of intrusion is if a stranger were to ask you, “What’s your favorite sexual position?”

VIOLATIONS of EMOTIONAL DISTANCE occur when emotional intimacy is less than what is appropriate for the relationship. Emotional distance is harmful especial with children. A child has the right to expect closeness and emotional intimacy from their caretakers. So, when it is excessively removed or cut off, it hurts, and it becomes emotionally harmful!

For example, when you were a child if your parents only talked to you to give you orders or to reprimand you, this would be a Violation Of Emotional Distance. A child needs hugs, affection, and emotional intimate conversations from their parents in order to feel safe and secure in the world.
Violations of Emotional Distance are difficult to detect and emotionally validate because these wounds were caused by… “what wasn’t done to you!”

Here is a shortlist of a few… BOUNDARY MASTERY TRUISMS

  • WEAK BOUNDARIES… equal a weak self-image!
  • HEALTHY BOUNDARIES… supports the development of a healthy self-image!
  • A person who does not know how to maturely protect their boundaries will resort to using ego defenses such as withdrawal, enmeshment or verbal abusive in an attempt to defend themselves.
  • Boundaries can be tricky because we wear so many different identities with people that we are close with such as our family, friends, teachers, employer, co-workers, and sibling to name just a few.
  • Often, it’s hard to judge what is, and what is not, appropriate boundary behavior because boundaries need to be flexible, yet firm!

Remember, BOUNDARY MASTERY is a lot like “Karate”—the more you Consistently Protect Your Boundaries as an emotionally mature adult… the better you will get at it.

In the next post I will share with you about the Three Core Elements Needed to Protect Your Boundaries.