Can You Speak the Language of
-by Certified Life Coach Hu Dalconzo, Copyright © 2002
The LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS is the language of your intuitive Self! Your heart feels the intuitive messages that are sent to you by spirit. Your uncomfortable feelings are messages that you are out of harmony with your Self. When you resist, repress, or deny your feelings, you disconnect yourself from your Self. Since the average emotional age of the adults in the US is only fourteen, and since most fourteen year olds have not mastered how to communicate their feelings, most of us have modeled caretakers who never learned how to maturely communicate how they feel.
The LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS is Yin energy. My experiences have taught me that the majority of us are disconnected from, and are resistant to, reconnecting to our Yin or feeling energy. Yin energy is the nurturing, intuitive, sensitive energy that all humans possess.
In general, our society rewards us for suppressing our feelings. As a result, we “think” that we have little incentive or motivation to learn how to feel our feelings. This is no surprise, because we are taught that feelings have nothing to do with success. In fact, in some instances our Western society teaches us that feelings can actually hinder success. The Spiritual Distinction Meditation is an excellent exercise to help you reawaken your ability to feel what your intuitive heart is trying to tell you!
Your feelings are messages sent to you by your Self to help you feel your way through life. As you learn how to interpret the LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS, you’ll begin to feel your healing feelings, which will help you to row your boat serenely down the stream of life.
The challenge most people have with processing their feelings is that they are trying to process them through their “thinking mind.” You can’t THINK your FEELINGS. You either feel them or you repress them with THOUGHTS.
When your Self sends you an intuitive message, such as frustration, it’s trying to communicate to you that something you are doing (or not doing) is out of harmony with your spiritual purpose for living (your Dharma). If you try to THINK about what you’re FEELING, you’ll simply pull up your history software from your mind. Your mind is a quagmire of recorded thoughts from your personal history (See Lesson #6). In an attempt to feel safe, sane, or secure, your mind will remember similar situations from your past. Therefore, if your past relationships were filled with heartbreak, then your mind, in an attempt to keep you from re-experiencing pain, will create any evidence that your ego needs to believe that your new relationship will also cause you pain. Your mind will try to tell you with thoughts of how you “should feel” about your new relationship. This reminds me of the spiritual joke that asks… “Are you shoulden on your Self again?”
When I’m afraid to feel my feelings (consciously or unconsciously), I’m experiencing the F.E.A.R.1 that my emotional denial creates. My fear surfaces as something other than what it actually is. Whether it’s blame, guilt, or indifference, my fear blocks what I’m really feeling, and because the real feeling is blocked, my mind transmutes it into something else. For example, if I’m feeling angry, but I was conditioned by my caretakers to believe that I’m not allowed to be angry, then I might transmute anger into a more acceptable emotion such as blame or sadness. Blocked, transmuted feelings will never make you feel better because as you learned in Lesson #2… Nothing changes until it becomes what it is!
On my journey home to my Self, I discovered that I was rarely upset for the reasons my ego mind thought. My mind was constantly trying to justify my thoughts in an attempt to make me right! My mind made people, who used to trigger me emotionally, into enemies so that my anger was justified and my attacks warranted.
In the past I was a slave to my mind, and therefore I unconsciously misused my relationships by rationalizing my behaviors to make myself right and others wrong! As a child, my mind learned these defensive maneuvers in order to survive. My challenge was that my old, defensive, child-like thought system was spiritually toxic, and it was preventing me from creating mature, spiritually-based relationships. By defending myself, I alienated the people I love and those who love me. I learned, through failed relationships, that this behavior of justifying and rationalizing (rational lies) my actions just didn’t serve me well. The LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS taught me that if I no longer wanted to FEEL emotionally upset, I would have to find another way of processing my life.
In order to change, I first had to be willing to lower my defenses and allow my Self to be emotionally vulnerable. By doing meditative practices, I realized that the walls that I had erected to protect myself also kept the love and intimacy out. Living a spiritually awakened life takes a lot of emotional courage because you must learn to trust your inner Self enough to lower your defenses.
Namaste’, my soul friends