Do You Have a Spiritual
Relationship with Your Children?
By Hu Dalconzo
A spiritual parenting model is
much freer than the “old world” model. It requires emotional
courage, because you must leave behind the stereotypical
parental roles that existed merely for protection and survival.
This spiritual “new world” model creates a safe space where you
and your child can be emotionally honest. This emotional honesty
allows your children to communicate freely with you because they
feel safe and secure with you.
The spiritual parenting model
creates emotional intimacy, which in turn provides a safe space
where your children can willingly surrender their ego defenses.
In this sacred space your children will feel safe enough to be
emotionally vulnerable with you, so they will share with you
their innermost thoughts and feelings.
A spiritually
awakened parent knows that their children have come through
them, but that they did not incarnate for them. In
the eyes of God your children are your spiritual equals who
incarnated to burn karma and fulfill their dharma just like you
did. Your children are here to teach you as much as you need to
teach them.
Parents who have spiritual
relationships with their children are conscious to the fact that
their children “live in the world, but they are not of the
world.” This is why forming a spiritual relationship with
your children is paramount for all holistic parents. The more
time that you invest in developing a loving, consciously
awakened, spiritual relationship with your child, the better
prepared your child will be to fulfill his/her spiritual purpose
for living.
A spiritual relationship is formed
when two or more people come together, as equals, for the
purpose of spiritual growth. Parent/child spiritual
relationships create a holistic environment, which will help
your children grow faster than they could on their own. Many
parents fear forming a spiritual relationship with their
children because unconsciously they know it will bring to view
exactly what they need to see, feel and heal about their less
than perfect parental behavior that their children are modeling.
A spiritual, relationship with
your child acknowledges that both of you are unique
manifestations of the same Spirit. “Spirit First” family
relationships need to be based on the highest degree of truth
and integrity so that your children will feel safe enough to be
emotionally honest with you and their siblings. Emotional
honesty bonds the family while also creating a strong sense of
trust, which fosters the development of emotional intimacy…a
vital ingredient of Self-parenting.
For better or worse, your children are mirrors. Your children reflect back to
you your positive and negative behaviors because children learn what they live.
As a parent you are constantly
being tested to see whether you will choose “mind” or “mastery.”
Tolle taught me that the “mind-identified state” is severely
dysfunctional. Everyone is suffering from “ego mind
identification illness” in varying degrees. The moment you
realize this there can be no resentment or guilt because how can
you resent someone’s illness or your own?
You need to drum up the
emotional courage to use your child’s less than perfect behavior
as a way of viewing your own unconscious negative beliefs. The
term ‘mirroring’ means to see the external world as a mirror
that reflects back to you the aspects of yourself that are
emotionally difficult for you to see directly.
When you use your children as
mirrors they will give you an instant, ongoing reflection of
your own inner Self. As you develop a consciously awakened,
spiritual relationship with your children by using your
Self-parenting skills, mirroring will become an empowering tool
that will support your family’s spiritual evolution.
As a holistic parent it is your job to educate yourself on
the ways in which your children were emotionally wounded.
Fortified with this knowledge, you can help them heal by
avoiding words or deeds that unconsciously trigger feelings that
are still very tender. The good news is that when you use
parental mastery skills your children will realize that you are
a safe space so they will communicate with you freely and take
comfort in your emotional counsel.
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