Do You Know How to Self-Nurture?
by Hu Dalconzo
To learn how to fulfill your emotional needs necessitate that
you study how to Self-parent yourself. Self-parenting is... heart
work. The primary objectives of the Self-parenting exercises
are to help you fulfill your emotional dependency needs that were
not met during your childhood. Emotional dependency needs are
the intimacy, nurturing, unconditional love and boundary protection
that a person needs in order to feel safe, sane, and secure
in the world.
Consciously fulfilling your emotional dependency needs will allow
you to function in the world as an emotionally mature, highly
functional adult. The Self-parenting exercises take the concept
of Self-nurturing from an abstract, hard to understand theoretical
concept and breaks it down piece by piece into a step by step,
easy to understand, specific set of emotionally Self-nurturing
exercises.
Self-parenting exercises are a fast, safe way for you to surface
and heal your repressed feelings. They can help you to rewire
your internal programming with new, healthy, healing feelings.
You can prove it to yourself that the Self-parenting visualization
exercises work by closing your eyes and imagining that you are
chewing on a lemon. What you'll notice is that you'll start to
salivate. WHY? Because your mind can't tell the difference
between a real and an imagined lemon. Therefore, when you do your
Self-parenting exercises your mind won't be able to tell the difference
between your real childhood experiences and Self-parented (imagined)
visualizations.
Three things are striking about Self-Parenting exercises: (1)
The speed with which you will feel better (2) the depth
of your emotional healing (3) how fast you reawaken your
Self-mastery powers to see, feel and heal so that you can take
responsibility to Self-parent yourself.
Fulfilling your emotional dependency needs is a Self-parenting
educational process designed to teach you how to: be emotionally
intimate with yourself and others, ____unconditionally love and
accept yourself and others, nurture yourself and others, and how
to maturely protect your boundaries so that you will feel safe
and secure in the world.
I'm often asked the question, "What's the difference between
Inner Child work and Self-parenting work?" Inner child work
is to Self-parenting what arithmetic is to algebra. Self-parenting
takes inner child work and integrates it with clinically proven,
spiritually based exercises that breaks down Self-nurturing into
a step by step, specific set of emotionally intimate Self-parenting
exercises that will fulfill your emotional dependency needs that
were not met when you were a child.
I want you to clearly understand what this term Inner Child
means. It is your childlike memories and programs that are emotionally
anchored to a time when you only had the power, knowledge, and
physical strength of a small child. Your inner child needs to
learn to trust the "adult you" because you have adult powers now
that he/she didn't have. You need to make your inner child feel
safe and secure by committing to practice these Self-parenting
exercises until you do feel safe and secure in the world.
When you feel emotionally safe you will willingly reconnect with
your repressed feelings, memories and emotions that are still
frozen behind ego defenses that you needed when you were a child.
When you were a child you needed your childlike defenses to feel
safe, but they are no longer necessary because you are now an
adult who is learning how to ____parent yourself.
I will leave you with a poem I co-wrote with Jane Christ entitled,
SELF-PARENTING.
AS A SELF-PARENTED ADULT
AS A SELF-PARENTED ADULT... If I don't learn how to fulfill my
emotional dependency needs, then I'll never feel safe, sane, and
secure in the world; For I'll always have to look to others to
tell me who I am. If I don't expect emotional intimacy, I am saying
that..."I'm Ok with you being emotionally distant from me,"
and I'll distance myself for fear of rejection. If I don't demonstrate
unconditional love for my Self, I am showing people that "I'm
not worthy of receiving love, nor your benefit of the doubt."
If I don't demand respect, I'll give people permission to treat
me disrespectfully; for I teach people how to treat me by the
way I treat myself. If I don't use my adult powers, I'll fall
prey to my own "child-like" ego defenses; and the walls I build
will keep out the love I seek. If I don't maturely defend my boundaries
with my adult powers, then people will "trespass" me just like
they did when I was a powerless child! If I don't give my Self
permission to be myself, then people will "mold me" into who they
want me to be, taking me further away from the light of my real
Self and closer to the darkness of my "persona" (mask). If I don't
learn to validate and release my feelings, then my feelings will
create dis-ease within me; for a dis-ease is a perfect creation;
a negative feeling made manifest. If I beat my Self up when I
"act out" with "less than perfect" behavior, then I am affirming
that, "I am my behavior" and not a child of God. If I'm
not willing to practice my Self-parenting skills until they become
a part of my consciousness, then when life "tests" me I'll attempt
to protect my Self using immature, childlike, ego-based methods.
If I don't "respond with ability" to make my life emotionally,
sexually, and physically Safe, Sane, and Secure, then I'll live
a life of "quiet desperation," comfortable in my "uncomfortable-ness"
and fearful of life's opportunities, unable to fulfill my divine
birthright, a life worthy of a child of God!
HU~JI
Namaste, my soul friends..... Hu Dalconzo
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