HLC Life Coaching Blog

January 14, 2011

Relationship Anxiety Is a Choice

By Tommy Sardanelli- HLC 201 Foundations Graduate


In today’s world with everything that is going on it is easy to become anxious about your spiritual relationships. When your relationships with your parents, spouse, children or friends mirror’s back to you your negative traits this is the perfect opportunity to see and feel what needs to be healed. HLC students call this technique the Observe and Correct exercise.


It’s Time to Stay Grounded

As a Self mastery student, if I stay grounded in the truth of who I am, which is One with Source, then I will not lose my Self. The person I’m in the relationship with will notice this positive difference because I will respond to my partner, rather than re-act [act again] to him or her.


The truth has amazing healing benefits and can be used to transcend anxiety or any other negative thoughts that are not in harmony with your divine birthright. The Truth must be used as a sword in your ego battles against worry, doubt, fear and anxiety.


The Truth Shall Set You Free! Easier Said Than Done…Right?

When I acknowledge, understand and believe in my creative abilities, I’m walking in empowerment. When I do this my feelings of uncertainty and turmoil stop, and I act as a Self-mastered being that I was created to be within all my relationships.


Anxiety is a Choice

Anxiety is a choice. Consciously or not, you choose to be anxious. Negative situations and circumstances have no power over you and they cannot make you anxious without your permission. Anxiety is literally the weight of ignorance. Your ego can only over power you if you are ignorant to your God like abilities, or you lose focus to that fact. The lack of knowledge of who you are (One with Source) is the only thing that can overpower you.


Anxiety is the Result of Meditating on the Negative 

Our ego always puts degrees on the size of our troubles. The way we perceive our relationship problems determines the magnitude of the problems we experience. Anxiety attacks our faith and it brings on disease and health issues such as high blood pressure and ulcers.


Spiritual wisdom is the antidote for anxiety. That is why if you are grounded in Source you can’t be anxious. When adversity strikes your relationships you have to make a choice to choose to be grounded in Source or feel anxious. You must choose who you will serve mind or mastery. When anxious thoughts surface you must draw on your faith about your divine powers, while simultaneously dis-creating any thoughts of fear or doubt that what you are affirming will not manifest.


The Silent Killer

Over time untreated anxiety slowly becomes the silent killer of most relationships. Your anxiety is always looking for a way to sneak into your mind. The things you allow yourself to be anxious about today will usually manifest tomorrow because what you fear most becomes you. Your anxiety attacks will continue until you stop dwelling (anxious thinking) on the negative aspects of your life and relationships.


As a Self-mastered Being, “I am in this world, but I am not of this world.”

Anxiety will rob you of your miracles! You can’t say, “I’m preparing for the worst,” while you are hoping for the best. Guess which one will manifest? Anxiety is created when you dwell on negative thoughts until they produce negative feelings and experiences in your life. This can cripple your spiritual relationships unless you master how to stay focused to your true identity, which is One with your Source.


Anxiety is a spiritual platform that the E.G.O. uses to build a case for all of its lies and illusions. If you believe that your ego lies are true they will manifest negativity in your life. It is important for you to understand that spiritual maturity is your ability to distinguish the difference between Source thoughts from E.G.O. thoughts to transcend anxiety it in 2011.


You can transcend your relationship anxiety with the understanding that your true identity is One with Source, and as such you are creative principal in motion. You have the ability to think your dreams and desires into existence because as a divine being once you affirm it, it is already yours. When you do this you must have faith that what you are affirming will manifest otherwise your ego will cause you to anxiously over think it, which will push it away.


 Building your spiritual relationship muscles is worth every bit of the emotional work that it requires. Every time you do this it will remind you who you really are, which is One with Source. Then, when relationship adversity surfaces, the length of your challenges will become noticeably shorter because you will have formed the habit of using your Self-mastery tools. This will help you transcend your relationship anxieties, which will help you make 2011 the best year of your life.

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    When I am grounded in Spirit, I am present to the Truth of what’s so in the moment. I’m present to who I am as a Spirit and who I am as an Ego identity. I’m present to the Spirit that the other person is and what his/her Ego identity is trying to protect him/her from. There is no judgment. All is well. I speak and listen from love and act for the highest good of all.

    When I am not in my Spirit, I am controlled by my Ego-mind. My Ego-Mind presents to me what reality is different from my opinion of what I think it should be (i.e., the way my partner should be or the way the situation should be). My Ego-Mind also presents to me what I need to be “cautious” of, what danger might lurk ahead that may cause me pain again (based on past programming). The more I seek to be “safe”, the more I look for things to be cautious of, the more I avoid opening up to the other person. The more I loop these cautions in my mind, the more my body feels the danger; thus, the anxiety. And, no word has been spoken and no action has taken place yet! Is it any wonder why I have so little intimacy when I’m in my Ego Identity?

    I choose to dis-create relationship anxiety and create relationship intimacy.

    Love to you!

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