HLC Life Coaching Blog

March 7, 2012

Recovery/ 12-Step Series – Feelings

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 15

How I Walk Through Pain & Suffering…

By  Feeling & Releasing My Healing Feelings

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings

Namasté soul friends,

Thank you for joining me as I share with you how I have bridged the HuMethod™ exercises with my 12-step recovery journey.  It’s been awhile since I’ve said this, so I am reminding you that the HuMethod™ exercises are not the magic bullet to recovery.  They are not magical, mystical or mysterious.  These exercises are sound, well field-tested educational exercises that create permanent behavioral change for anyone who uses them as prescribed.  These clinically proven self-help exercises can be used as additional tools to add to your recovery toolbox.

We’ve all learned that feelings are not right, wrong, good or bad.  This is Recovery-101, so when I recently had the blessing to experience some ‘healing feelings’ that I had not felt in a while and saw how quickly my ego-mind was trying to distract me and drag me into a story, it surprised me.

I  immediately went to the God of my understanding with my Feelings Chart in hand and asked God to help me put a word on this energy that I was feeling in my body.  It’s funny because in the past, I would have run to the hills in order to not feel anything.  My caretakers taught my ego mind how to become a master at suppressing, repressing, minimizing and denying feelings.  Today I don’t know if I can honestly say I welcome the uncomfortable energy, but today I don’t run from it, because I know that what I am feeling is a message from my Spirit that I am out of harmony with my Self.

I’ve adopted so many HuMethod™ tools that I use to understand and process my feelings, but today I just want to talk about Feeling and Releasing My Healing Feelings.  I mean really feeling them and not trying to diagnose them, have thoughts about them by bringing up past experiences to feed into them, and not suppressing, repressing, minimizing or denying them.

I had a family encounter recently and it was with a part of the family I had not seen in a while.  It surprised me that I missed these people so much, and my ego really tried to pull me into the rabbit hole of the past and to try and tell me all of the things I was missing out on, and blah blah blah.  I actually went down this rabbit hole for about an hour but Thank You God that I had a ladder that I can use, and that ladder is my feelings.  My feelings support me through the present moment, because I’ve learned that feelings are only in the present.

I grok that I’m either feeling my feelings in the present, or I’m having a thought about them.  To demonstrate:  Slap the top of your hand with your other hand, fairly hard.  Feel that tingling?  That’s a feeling.  Now wait a few minutes for the tingling to stop.  Now try to go back and feel that tingling.  You can’t.  I can’t. I can only have a thought about how that tingling felt.  This shows me that my ego, like the good defense attorney it is, will draw up anything it can from the memory banks to try to tell me what I’m feeling.

With feelings, there are four emotional distinctions…Emotional Block, General Feeling, Holistic Benefit and Healing Feeling. I’m going to start with the Emotional Blocks since, in the beginning of my recovery this is what my ego would have me do.  An emotional block is a thought about a feeling, and these emotional blocks turn into General Feelings.  For example, have you ever played the “Judgment” game?  Judgment is an emotional block that is blocking the Healing Feeling of Frustration.  Judging myself and everyone else was the way my ego kept as an actor in the drama of my storyline.  After a while I would have a General Feeling of being Dissatisfied with everyone and everything around me.  As soon as I learned to feel the Healing Feeling of Frustration, I was able reap the Holistic Benefit of Persistence and was able hanging in there and walk through whatever I needed to do.

This Feel and Release Chart helped me tremendously because something else I used to do with feelings is name one feeling and then call every other feeling I was having by that one name – especially the Healing Feelings of Anger and Fear.  When I came into the rooms of recovery, those two feelings of energy were the only feelings I talked about.  I didn’t have a clue that these two energy sources were masking feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment, envy, embarrassment, hurt, etc.  When I didn’t release the Healing Feelings, then my ego would start to tell me I’m guilty of something which would turn into depression – all because I judged (yup, those emotional blocks would join forces and really have a party in my head).

Today I know that there are two ways that I can process my life: through my intuitive heart (feelings) or through my intellect (ego).  When I process my life through my heart first I am drawing upon the infinite wisdom of a power greater than myself.  Once I’ve done this I can then go into my intellectual mind to see if there is anything else I need to know.  As quoted from Karol K. Truman’s book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, she states, “After incorporating these elements into your daily life, it will become evident to you that you do have the ability to communicate (the Language of Feelings), to be congruent in what you feel, think, say, and do.  By using the Language of Feelings as the primary way to process my life, I now feel that “I am a Self-mastered Be-Ing of Light and Love.  I understand the Language of my Intuitive Heart, the Language of Love, the Language of Spirit.  I can feel my inner Self and I know that I am ONE with all life everywhere and that makes me feel wonderful!”

Keep coming – it works if you work it!

If you would like to receive your FREE copy of the Emotional Awareness Life Skill Lesson, please email me at debcoaching11@gmail.com.

Do you have a blog in YOU?  How have you used a particular HuMethod™™ exercise to create permanent behavioral change in your own life?  If you would like to share your experience, strength and hope with others, send your write-up to debcoaching11@gmail.com and I will gladly review and provide feedback for submission

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Deborah  Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in any 12-step recovery program and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact
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