HLC Life Coaching Blog

May 16, 2012

Recovery/ 12 Step Series – Validation

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 19

How I Learned To Accept What Is “As Is” …

By Validating My Feelings And Experiences

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings

Namasté soul friends,

Validation is the most esoteric skill of Self-Parenting.  Validating your feelings is where the rubber of life meets the road
of Self-parenting.  Validation means “to give value” to your feelings with well-grounded evidence of why
your feelings aren’t right, wrong, good or bad; they are just what you are feeling.
Taken from The HuMan Handbook Chapter on Self-Parenting

This  concept was completely foreign to me when I first walked into the rooms of  recovery.  Giving value to my  feelings?  What feelings?  I now understand that my ego mind, in an  effort to keep me safe, sane and secure, had completely shut down all of my  body sensations around my feelings.  You may be thinking – oh that ego – why would God give us an ego if it’s only going to cause us harm?  I’ve learned that my ego mind is not bad or broken it is a perfect God system.  My ego taught me how to repress, suppress, minimize and deny.   This was the anesthesia that I needed to survive a childhood growing up in a disease called Alcoholism.

I wanted to learn to validate my feelings because I spent my whole life judging them and then repressing, suppressing, minimizing and denying them, along with the body sensations associated with these feelings. People in my life always seemed to be telling me what I was feeling and when I expressed what I thought was a feeling it was poo-pooed as being right, wrong, good or bad. No wonder I never learned how to really feel my feelings.

Validating is using my intuitive heart not my ego mind (which was fed from all of my past experiences).  When I validate my feelings I’m giving them value and not judging them as right, wrong, good or bad.  It’s normal to experience
feelings
, it’s natural that certain feelings invoke specific body sensations and it’s necessary that I feel all of my feelings so they don’t turn into emotional blocks.

Becoming a Self-mastered adult means that I will function on the earth plane by utilizing my Higher Power (Spirit) to direct my life vs. the crazy committee in my head (Ego).  In order to do this I needed to learn to validate all of my feelings and experiences.  You’re probably asking – How do you learn to put the Higher Power (heart center) first and the ego-mind second?

In my program of recovery I started with the first 3 steps.  Once I truly turned my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power then I was teachable.  When I started my training as a Certified Spiritual Life Coach with HLC, within a very short time I learned how to bridge the HuMethod™ exercises with my recovery work.  This took my recovery and deepened it so much that within a very short time I was able to enter my heart, quiet my mind and shift from the ego mind directing my life to my Higher Power (Spirit).

I know today that it is Normal for certain feelings to arise in my body.  It’s Natural for me to feel what I’m feeling because anyone who had experienced what I experienced would feel the same way.  And it’s Necessary for me feel and
release the feelings so that I can then move on to receiving the healing.

On a daily basis I still practice the HuMethod™ Spiritual Distinction Meditation.  When I get triggered and my ego mind jumps in and tries to tell me what I’m feeling vs. me actually feeling, I use the Validation exercise which helps me to accept what is as is and not judge it as being right, wrong, good or bad.

Thank You God that today I’m strong enough, mature enough, and self-parented enough to validate my feelings.  I can actually be in the moment without judging it and therefore the ego has no job when I validate my feelings.  I’m moving from Survival mode (effort laced with fear) to Thriving (living with purpose and passion).

If you’d like a FREE copy of the Ego Mind Mastery Life Skill Lesson please email me at debcoaching11@gmail.com.

Keep coming – it works if you work it!

JOIN US STARTING MIDNIGHT May 31st through Midnight June 2nd and receive a FREE Self-Parenting
e-book and audio book
through the
Inner-net of One Abundance Exchange Educational Program for Global Transformation

To secure your e-book and MP3, join our mailing list and LIKE Holistic Learning Center on Facebook where you will receive daily coaching updates, words of wisdom, special savings offers.

CREATE YOUR RIGHT LIVELIHOOD

Only 3-days Left – HLC Is Lowering Its Life Coaching Course Tuitions to…
Train Additional HLC Life Coaches, Instructors and Executives for National Expansion

Take the First Step to Launch the Career You Were Born To Do…
CALL TODAY… because classes close out quickly.

Availability is on a first come, first serve basis.

CALL 888-HLC-0878
9-5, Eastern Standard Time, M-F

Deborah  Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in any 12-step recovery program and you want to mastermind with Deborah, you can contact Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@gmail.com.  Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.

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May 2, 2012

Recovery/ 12 Step Series – Conscious Creation

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 18

How I Was Able To Thrive In All Areas Of My Life …

By Learning The Difference Between Being a Visionary vs. an Observer

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings

Namasté soul friends,

This week I’m going to discuss how I learned to thrive, not just survive, whether things are going well or not so well.  This is all something I learned as part of the HuMethod™ Conscious Creation/Dis-Creation Process.

You have until midnight tonight (5/2) to download, for FREE, the entire Conscious Creation Process e-book and audio book as part of the Inner-net of One Abundance Exchange Educational Program for Global Transformation.

I learned at a very young age how to survive and my ego-mind picked up all kinds of ‘tricks’ to tell me I was safe.  It wasn’t until I hit my mid-30’s that I realized that I was great at surviving but I wanted to learn to thrive.  Believe it or not, the slogan “First Things First” was one of the Recovery Tools that I adopted to teach me how to take care of my Self.  This slogan helped me stay focused on being in the moment and doing the next right thing for my health and well-being.  It also helped me learn to “mind my own business” – which at first was not something I was very open to hearing, but I knew I needed to learn this for my own recovery.

Years ago I had started reading and listening to the Abraham/Hicks material and this is where I learned that my thoughts create my reality, and as I said in my last blog,  this scared me a lot because my reality was a mess.  That was the bad news.  The good news was that since I created it, I could learn to dis-create it and create something new.

This is where the HuMethod™ Conscious Creation process came in.  As you may already know, a process is a series of actions that bring about an expected end result.  The end result that I wanted was to be able to thrive and be okay with what happens while still taking care of my Self and meeting my own emotional dependency needs.  I learned through this process that Conscious Creators are Visionaries, not Observers.  Observers thrive when things are going well and suffer when things are not going so well, because an observer only experiences what is reflected back in present time.  On the other hand Visionaries are conscious creators who thrive all the time because a visionary has learned to focus on only the vision of what he wants to create, even when things are not going so well.  An observer sees what is!  A visionary sees what he wants!

What I see in the NOW has manifested from that which I thought in the past.  The Universe will manifest what I visualize about my future.  Meaning that if I keep focusing my attention on what I don’t like about my present situation, then in the present, I am planting seeds for a future that will match my unwanted present.  Good grief, this explained a lot because this is what I had been doing my entire life.

The Conscious Creation process fit together nicely with my Steps and so as I took this to my Steps, I was able to take my first three steps fairly easily because I was so willing to live differently, and I knew that the only way of doing this was to surrender to a power greater than me.  I know today that the majority of my core beliefs were programmed before the age of five.  I knew I needed to become consciously aware of my unconscious, negatively programmed beliefs before effective change could occur.  This meant that I needed to commit myself to de-programming my core negative beliefs.

So to become a Visionary I started to dis-create my negatively programmed beliefs so I could stop going unconscious.  Dis-creation means to consciously stop re-creating negatively programmed beliefs and then to consciously create what it is that I do want to create.  WOW – there’s a lot of power there.  Am I ready?

One way to get ready was to train myself to FEEL (body sensations) and HEAR (my words) when my negative beliefs surfaced.  Doing the HuMethod™ Dis-Creation exercise was like taking a 4th Step inventory because I was able to make a list of all of my beliefs around survival.  Today, I know when I am around the disease of alcoholism and I see someone getting ready to take a drink and I say something like “You might want to take it easy because you’re tired” then I am operating in a core negative belief that “I am not safe around people who drink” or the belief that “people who drink will hurt me” or that “people who drink will hurt themselves and it will affect me”.  It has nothing to do with the person taking the drink, and it has everything to do with my ego mind trying to protect me but in essence it’s keeping me in survival mode, and I’m not thriving.   I’m suffering because I’m only seeing what is being reflected back to me – my own fear.

Once I surfaced my core beliefs through the HuMethod™ Dis-Creation exercises, I then asked to be relieved of these beliefs that no longer served me through Steps 6 and 7.  Guess what happened?  I got so many opportunities to hear my sub-conscious core negative beliefs, that I finally became aware of them enough to be able to make other decisions when these beliefs surfaced in my ego-mind.

This is where Steps 10 and 11 come into play.  Today I am very aware of my body sensations.  If my stomach tightens and my breathing is affected, or if I have a catch in my throat or my chest feels tight, I know that I am ignoring a message from Spirit and I need to stop and go to Step 11 and seek, through prayer and meditation for guidance.  When I do this, my Higher Power can then guide me in doing the next right thing for my highest good.

Keep coming – it works if you work it!

THROUGH Midnight May 2nd receive a FREE Conscious Creation MP3 and e-book through the
Inner-net of One Abundance Exchange Educational Program for Global Transformation

To secure your e-book and MP3, join our mailing list and LIKE Holistic Learning Center on Facebook where you will receive daily coaching updates, words of wisdom, special savings offers.

CREATE YOUR RIGHT LIVELIHOOD

Only 20-days Left – HLC Is Lowering Its Life Coaching Course Tuitions to…
Train Additional HLC Life Coaches, Instructors and Executives for National Expansion

Take the First Step to Launch the Career You Were Born To Do…
CALL TODAY… because classes close out quickly.

Availability is on a first come, first serve basis.

CALL 888-HLC-0878
9-5, Eastern Standard Time, M-F

Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in any 12-step recovery program and you want to mastermind with Deborah, you can contact Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@gmail.com. Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.

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