HLC Life Coaching Blog

October 24, 2011

Recovery/12 Steps Series – Step 5

How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 6

Admitted to God, to myself and to another Human Being …

Creating a Covenant Based on Truth and Integrity

By Certified Life Coach Deborah Giddings

Namasté soul friends,

I’ve been pondering what my relationships are like for me now that I’m practicing living the truths that I’ve learned as part of my own Journey home to my Self.  Don’t get me wrong.  I still get triggered by my ego-mind and need to re-ground myself back into my Spirit. But the duration/intensity and frequency of these triggers is getting to be less and less – Thank You God!

I realized that, after learning what a true spiritual relationship is, it’s no wonder my relationships were never fulfilling.
I never related to anyone with any truth or integrity because I didn’t trust anyone, and as a child I was taught to lie.  I wasn’t on equal footing with anyone in my life – I was either greater than or less than, depending on what was triggering my ego-mind history (or in this case ‘her-story’).    Today, my spiritual relationships are the closest thing to heaven that I can experience on earth.  Let me explain.

A spiritual relationship is formed when two (or more) people come together, as equals, for the purpose of spiritual growth. One of the best ways to support spiritual growth is to be in a relationship with someone who wants to create a ‘partnership’ that is
emotionally intimate and spiritually conscious. Relationship Mastery means to reach beyond your F.E.A.R. identities, with a committed spiritual partner, to create an environment rich in love, honesty, and trust.  This spiritually rich environment creates emotional intimacy, which makes life feel more like you are in heaven, rather than on earth.

Step 5 helped me clear away a lot of the debris of the past but it wouldn’t work for me until I turned my will and my life over to the God of my understanding (Step 3) so I could take a good look at what was working in my life and what no longer served me (Step 4).  By emotionalizing both of these previous steps, I was ready to take Step 5 by creating a covenant with someone based on the highest degree of truth and integrity.  When I did this, I was able to see past any negative human identities (roles) that would have stopped me in the past.  Instead, I focused on the Spirit within me.  (I dropped that 18” from my head into my heart.)  I bonded with the understanding that I am with someone else because it is appropriate for our souls to grow together.  I consciously recognize that we are both in the process of spiritual growth, and that a commitment to being emotionally honest is essential.  H.O.W. it works is Honesty, Openness, and Willingness.  Without this, I am alone in the drama of my ego-mind.

I know today that the more I invest in developing loving, consciously awakened, soft, caring, open relationships, the more I’ll relax about my life because I am in my heart center and co-creating with GOD (Good Orderly Direction).  Spiritual relationships create intimacy, which in turn provides a safe space where I can willingly surrender my ego defenses.  As I master the Language of Feelings, I’ll know why I am feeling the way I am feeling, which will make being in a spiritual relationship a pleasure.  I’ll learn how to use my intuitive heart to communicate to my spiritual partner how I feel. If I try to use my mind to ‘think’ about what I am ‘feeling’, I’ll be communicating from my defensive ego-mind, using child-like ego defenses, rather than from my heart.  I know today that in order to develop a spiritual relationship, it is essential to master the Language of Feelings.

Learning how to communicate responsibly, so I could maturely communicate how I feel, helped me find the source of my pain so I could heal it. This made me understand that the source of my pain was being stimulated in the present but it was a manifestation of something from the past.  I know today that when I am being triggered in the present, I am triggering old emotional wounds from my past that were never healed.

Relationship building is an ongoing action lesson of life and every element of it will synergistically support all of your other spiritual disciplinas. There is so much more to discuss about the dynamics of Relationship mastery and if you want to learn more you can always enroll in HLC’s Relationship Mastery Course with personalized Life Coaching tele-classes, because it will supply you with the spiritual, emotional, and loving support that makes achieving Relationship Mastery a repeatable process..

Stay connected… with HLC by joining our mailing list

“LIKE” Holistic Learning Center’s page on Facebook
Where you will receive daily coaching updates, words of wisdom, special savings offers

FYI my soul friends…STAY TUNED

STARTING mid-night NOVEMBER 1st
FREE 48-hour license to distribute HLC Products

Inner-net of One ABUNDANCE EXCHANGE

November’s Free Product of the Month

HuMan Hand e-Book and MP3 Album

[Retail Value of $35]

Join me next time as I share how I learned to validate my feelings applying the HuMethod™ exercises along with Step 6.    Keep coming – it works if you work it!

Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in Al-Anon, AA, OA, GA, NA, SLAA and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact
Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@yahoo.com. Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.

by admin | 11 Comments

  • Adam on November 2, 2011 at 10:48 am | Reply |

    I am new to this (first book was A Course in Miracles), I found it absolutely helpful and it has aided me a ton. I’m hoping to help others by sharing it. Thanks 🙂


  • Harley on November 1, 2011 at 12:20 am | Reply |

    Useful information. Actually I discovered your web site unintentionally. I am surprised though as everything happens for a reason…I wish I found it sooner! I bookmarked it.


  • Ed on October 31, 2011 at 4:12 am | Reply |

    Hi there (or should I say Namaste), You have done a great job. I’ll definitely suggest it to my friends. I’m sure they’ll be benefit from this blog and website.


  • Christina on October 29, 2011 at 11:55 pm | Reply |

    Wow, incredible blog structure! How long have you ever been blogging for? Your website is wonderful, let alone the content material!


  • Amy on October 28, 2011 at 7:17 am | Reply |

    I enjoyed your article Coach Deborah thank you.


  • Kelly B on October 27, 2011 at 12:59 pm | Reply |

    I enjoyed reading about relationships. This is a great perspective, I want to look at things that way.


  • Tammy on October 26, 2011 at 9:39 pm | Reply |

    I have been following you guys for years. Love the new website. This blog is a great idea (i’m pretty far behind in my reading).
    Thanks for the share GREAT as always.


  • Kate on October 26, 2011 at 4:59 am | Reply |

    My father has been in recovery for about 15 years. It was hard growing up. Even though he had the problem not me, I’m getting a tremendous amount from your Blogs. I need more spiritual relationships.


  • Robbie Franks on October 25, 2011 at 11:05 pm | Reply |

    Another great article. I’m going to look into the Relationship Mastery e-book I want to learn more. Cheers.


  • Steph on October 25, 2011 at 8:36 pm | Reply |

    Usually I do not learn a lot from blog articles, but I would like to say that this write-up compelled me to check it out and read more. Thank you, very nice article.


  • Travis on October 24, 2011 at 9:37 pm | Reply |

    Wow, you are right. You are so right. I think I’ve been asleep in my relationship. We both have.


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    October 10, 2011

    Recovery/ 12 Steps Series – Step 4

    How to Walk the 12 Steps with the HuMethod™ Article 5

    Making a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory …
    Feeling the Benefits

    By Certified Life Coach Deborah

    Namasté Soul Friends,

    It feels so good to have you join me on this journey.  I am feeling the ‘inner net’ of ONE consciousness as we join together on the Internet.  In my last article I spoke about the seven pieces of self-parenting.  One of these pieces is to learn how to unconditionally love and accept myself without behavioral conditions especially when I exhibit less than perfect behavior (not that this has ever happened –lol).

    This was an important distinction for me to learn as I took my 4th step and “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.” It reduced the intensity of the ‘fear’ so that I could honestly accept and see that what happened really happened which allowed me to see, feel and heal the emotional wounds caused by living with a disease called alcoholism.

    When I walked this next step in my journey with the HuMethod™ Language of Feelings exercises in the textbook Self-Mastery, A Journey Home to your Self”, I learned how to ingest, digest, process and eliminate repressed feelings.   I used to ‘think my feelings’ meaning that my ego-mind was always telling me what I was feeling but I wasn’t feeling anything, I was shut down emotionally.  I was reacting from my thoughts, instead of responding from my heart.   This ‘thinking’ kept me tied to my history rather than being in the Now and feeling and releasing my repressed feelings.  When I took Step 2 I was given hope that I would be restored to sanity, and I wanted it. I now know that in addition to the benefits that I received from my 12-step work, I needed to master how to consciously feel and release my healing feelings so I live in peace and have serenity (my definition of sanity).

    I just want to remind you that these HuMethod™ exercises don’t replace the proven 12 Steps. They are a bridge that you can take that will introduce you to advanced tools to enhance and accelerate your recovery journey.  This particular
    exercise was a bridge that I didn’t know how to walk over until I was willing to feel what needed to be healed.  As I said earlier, I processed my life through my thinking mind (intellect) first and my heart (feelings) second.  My ego-mind was my God and I was letting this thinking mind use my past history to make all of my current and future decisions.  I realized that I was seeing through pinhole eyes because I was not drawing upon the Infinite Wisdom of my Higher Power.

    The Language of Feelings is the language of my intuitive Self!  My heart feels intuitive messages that are sent to me by Spirit (my Higher Power).  When these messages are uncomfortable feelings, my Spirit is trying to tell me that I am out of harmony with my Self. When I block these healing feelings, I am blocking all of the benefits that are coming to me.  Benefits such as being able to have good boundary defenses, self-acceptance, grieving my losses, having closure when something ends (and there’s so many more).  When I continue to resist, repress, minimize or deny my feelings, I disconnect myself from my Self.  When I decided to Commit, Study, Practice, Internalizing and Emotionalize (S-PIE) the Language of Feelings self-mastery exercises, I learned to honor my feelings, face them, embrace them and then release them.

    When I connect with my heart, and start to process my life through my feelings, I understand why I am feeling the way I am feeling.  My heart feels my Spirit giving me the purpose for this feeling.  Once I understand the message from my Spirit
    about why I am feeling what I am feeling, I am then able to process the feeling using wisdom gained from my life experiences.

    The Spiritual Distinction Meditation helped me to master my Ego (thinking) mind and opened my heart.  It helped me to detach from the extrinsic aspects of daily life and quieted my mind so that I could hear what my intuitive heart was trying to tell me.

    Using the Language of Feelings along with the 4th step, I started to feel better than I have ever felt before.  Processing my life through my feelings is 90% more efficient than thinking, and so I have much more energy to manifest all of my hopes and dreams.

    Join me next time as I share how I started to develop more intimate Spiritual Relationships applying the HuMethod™ exercises along with Step 5.    Keep coming – it works if you work it!

    If you are interested in learning more about the Language of Feelings, click onto any of the hyperlinks in this article or log onto Holistic Learning Center’s web page and don’t forget to…

    Stay connected… with HLC by joining our mailing list“LIKE” Holistic Learning Center page on FacebookWhere you will receive daily coaching updates, words of wisdom, special savings offers

    FYI My Soul Friends…stay tuned STARTING mid-night NOVEMBER 1st
    FREE 48-hour license to distribute HLC Products Inner-Net of One ABUNDANCE EXCHANGE

     

    Deborah Giddings, CSLC and Recovery Trainer

    If you seek Recovery Coaching help for yourself or for a family member, if you are an HLC CSLC or CIT, an addiction counselor or a recovery coach, or if you are in Al-Anon, AA, OA, GA, NA, SLAA and you want to mastermind with Deborah you can contact
    Deborah directly via her email debcoaching11@yahoo.com.  Deborah is also available for speaking engagements to share how her recovery journey was transformed by emotionalizing the HuMethod™ exercises.

    *Note- HLC is experiencing some technical difficulties with the Blog, please leave your comments on our Facebook page- CLICK HERE.

     

    by admin | 13 Comments

  • Diane C on October 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm | Reply |

    The first time I saw the Feelings Chart was in the Self-Mastery text book. In my opinion, it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. As a child, I remember being told to count to 3 when I got mad…………..but there was no mention of what to do in that 3 seconds, nor what the benefits were of feeling angry. I remember being told not to slam doors when I was angry, or yell at my siblings when I was mad. What I wasn’t taught until I saw the feelings chart was: How to recognize my boundaries, How to set my boundaries, and How to express my boundaries in a healthy, mature way so that the situation would not happen over and over and over. So throughout the years, I was usually creating the same situations over and over so that I could prove I was right; other people were always crossing my boundaries………and it THEIR fault that I was mad! Wow, this was a real eye-opener, and I uncovered it by working with a Life Coach at HLC. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I now have a way to look at my Healing Feelings in a whole new light. What powerful recovery I have found expanding my seeking of a Spiritual Experience. This is ‘good stuff.’


  • Cathy on October 16, 2011 at 5:48 pm | Reply |

    Super jazed about getting that know-how.


  • Sam Siddeen on October 14, 2011 at 6:46 am | Reply |

    I just could not leave your website before saying that I really enjoyed the usual info, this is the only kind of spiritual life coaching I have found so far.


  • Allie on October 14, 2011 at 6:08 am | Reply |

    I really like your articles. Thank you.


    • Amberly on October 16, 2011 at 4:22 pm | Reply |

      You’re on top of the game. Thanks for sharing.


  • Robbie Franks on October 14, 2011 at 1:37 am | Reply |

    This is one of the most significant articles for me. The content is great- Excellent job, cheers


  • Tina Cox on October 13, 2011 at 9:20 pm | Reply |

    I have been sober for 5 years now, and this is a great addtion to the 12-step program which has really helped me. I’m going to be studying the website better and come back for the next article. Thank you for sharing.


  • Clark on October 13, 2011 at 5:20 pm | Reply |

    Wow, this is really informative 🙂


  • Aubrie on October 12, 2011 at 10:26 am | Reply |

    You pretty much said what i could not effectively communicate. TY


  • Pam Premiazy on October 12, 2011 at 12:38 am | Reply |

    These are really interesting articles, I am enjoying them.


  • change life on October 12, 2011 at 12:01 am | Reply |

    I am really impressed along with your writing skills and also with the format in your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway stay up the excellent high quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer at a great weblog like this one today…


  • Karen Hasselo on October 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm | Reply |

    My favorite line in Article 5 is, “I realized that I was seeing through pin hole eyes because I was not drawing upon the Infinite Wisdom of my Higher Power.” I hope I can learn to expand my vision as I come to rely upon my Higher Power.
    I enjoyed the heartfelt words.
    Namaste,
    Karen Hasselo


  • Nick Fisch on October 11, 2011 at 10:21 am | Reply |

    You made some good points there. I my next step is to explore the rest of this website. 🙂


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